What is a Ruined Orgasm?

Ruined orgasms can be an incredible turn-on for many submissive partners. As long as both parties are clear on their preferences and boundaries, experimenting with this form of power play can be a fun, exciting way to deepen intimacy.

To ruin an orgasm, you simply stop all stimulation right before your partner begins to orgase. This can be done with a variety of techniques, including penetration, oral sex and toys.


Ruined orgasms often occur when a person stops stimulation just as they’re about to reach climax. This can be frustrating and disappointing for some, but others may find that a ruined orgasm is still pleasurable in its own way. The sensation of an orgasm without a powerful release is actually quite arousing for some people, and can even make them more horny and eager to orgasm again.

Some people intentionally seek out ruined orgasms as a form of sexual play. They enjoy the build-up and the feeling of being unable to control their pleasure, and they also like the idea that their dominant partner could take them to a new level at any time. Of course, it’s important to ensure that this type of play is well-negotiated and consented to by both parties.

For example, if you’re interested in a ruined orgasm, it’s important to show your partner how hard you want to be teased. It’s also a good idea to give them a verbal cue when you feel yourself about to orgasm, so that they can continue to stimulate you in the way that brings you the most pleasure.

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Other causes of a ruined orgasm may include arousal from a non-sexual activity, arousal from a drug, or sexual gratification with a different partner. These experiences may be pleasurable in their own way, but they can’t be compared to the thrill of experiencing a true orgasm.


Ruined orgasms are a type of sexual play that involves the buildup and then disappointment of a full-on orgasm. They are a common part of kinky sexual experience, and they often accompany oral or manual sex. Some people like to seek out this experience for the sense of frustration and powerlessness that it can bring, while others enjoy the feelings of humiliation or pain that it can cause.

During this type of sex, the giver will stop all stimulation just as the receiver is nearing orgasm. They may also use words or moans to communicate that they are getting close. The dom and sub can then start to tease each other by slowing the pace down or stopping altogether. They can also play with fingering and other physical techniques to build up erotic tension, suggests Foxx.

Ruined orgasms can be hot during manual and oral sex, as well as during other types of kink, including anal sex and pegging. They can be especially hot when they involve the dom and sub making their own rules about how to proceed.

For anyone interested in trying ruined orgasms, it is important to have open and honest communication with your partner. It is also a good idea to have a safeword or other signal that you can use to end the experience if it becomes uncomfortable or unsafe.

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If you’re having trouble reaching orgasm, try slowing down the pace of your play to help build up sexual tension. Also, a small amount of external stimulation can add to the experience. You can tease your partner with the nipples, neck, and other areas of the body to increase the pleasure they feel when they reach climax.

You can also make sure your partner is putting in the work to reach orgasm by asking them what feels good. Getting a clear understanding of your partner’s needs is essential to a satisfying sexual experience, especially if you both have different experiences that can bring pleasure.

Some people have a medical condition that causes them to have ruined orgasms, such as retrograde ejaculation (which is when semen is redirected into the bladder instead of being expelled from the penis during climax). In this case, you’ll need to speak with your doctor about how best to treat the issue.

Another factor that can cause a ruined orgasm is mental distress, such as stress or anxiety. In this case, therapy or counseling can help address the underlying issue and improve feelings of pleasure in the bedroom. Finally, it’s important to note that multiple ruined orgasms can be a sign of underlying issues in a relationship, such as performance anxiety or physical discomfort.


If you and your partner are interested in exploring ruined orgasms as part of your sexual play, the key to success is clear communication. Both partners should be willing to explore their boundaries and discuss any concerns they may have. Then, they should agree on a safe word that will allow them to stop the experience at any time. This will also help ensure that both parties feel fully satisfied during the play, even if it doesn’t result in a traditional climax.

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Some people who enjoy a ruined orgasm find it thrilling because they like the build-up and let-down. Others seek it out because they feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed by a traditional orgasm, so they find it more satisfying to reach an orgasm that is shorter and less intense.

Another reason for a ruined orgasm is medical discomfort, which can be caused by certain medications, nerve damage, or other conditions. In these cases, the person may decide to intentionally ruin their orgasm to avoid the pain of a full one.

Ruined orgasms can be particularly hot during manual stimulation, including fingering and oral sex, and with other kinks such as pegging or anal sex. They are also easy to incorporate into a variety of sexual positions and scenarios. However, it is important to remember that any sexual activity is not safe if a person is feeling unwell or has been abused in the past.

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