For some, penetration is not the key to orgasm. Getting the clitoris aroused with manual stimulation, like touching, kissing and rubbing can be just as pleasurable and push you over the climax edge.
Experiment with nipple play, anal masturbation and being submissive to learn what stimulates your clitoris. You can then use this knowledge to find out what techniques or positions are most effective.
Positions
Some positions can increase the chances of orgasm from penetration, but everyone’s body is different and what works for one person may not work for another. For example, the cowgirl position, which has a woman riding on top of her partner, can provide intense stimulation of the G-spot and upper deep spot. This position is perfect for couples who want to play with each other and experiment with erogenous zones. The woman can move around her partner and bounce up and down or grind her clit to find the best sensations.
Having the legs together can also boost arousal and sensation. Have your partner straddle you while they are penetrating you and try bending, lifting, and pushing on your pelvic and thigh muscles. You can also flex the clitoris and have your partner touch, rub, and caress it with their fingers before and during sex to increase sensations and push you toward orgasm.
Another orgasm-increasing position is the missionary, which has the woman on top and the man on the bottom. This is a good choice for beginners because it gives the woman control and the ability to explore her own erogenous zone, while it also allows the man to stimulate the clitoris and other sensitive areas. The woman can also wiggle her hips and grind her clit on the man’s thigh to find the best sensations.
Toys
The right sex toy can make the difference between orgasm and simply feeling pleasure during penetration. When picking a sex toy, start by identifying what kind of stimulation and pleasure you crave most. This will help narrow down your options and lead you to the perfect toy for your needs.
For example, if you like the sensation of tongue or oral sex, consider a clitoral squirter like the Satisfyer Laska. This small, elegant toy has interchangeable mouths for various sensations, from wide to tight, and is made with silky soft silicone. The toy also vibrates for added pleasure.
If you’re looking for a more traditional vaginal sex toy, check out the iconic Magic Wand from Hitachi. This wand has been around for decades and is still going strong. The newest version has a new head that’s just the right size and shape for stimulating the G-spot, a small area of erogenous tissue located near the front of the upper vaginal wall.
You can also try c-shaped vaginal vibrators, which clamp to the front of your labia and stimulate both the G-spot and clitoris, no hands necessary. You can further enhance sensations by adding a little lube, which will also help the toy move more smoothly through the area. When shopping for lube, look for nonporous options like medical-grade or body-safe silicone.
Stimulating the Clitoris
You might be surprised to learn that the clitoris is a pleasure hot spot of its own. Many people who seek to orgasm from penetration only consider vaginal orgasms, but the clitoral G-spot can also bring about orgasms on its own, if you know how to stimulate it.
The clitoral tip, which peeks out from the top of your vulva, is a nerve-rich hot spot with a lot of potential for orgasms on its own. The internal portion, which can’t be seen, is even more nerve-dense and has many more orgasm-inducing sensations to offer.
Stimulating the clitoral tip is easy—just use your fingers or tongue. Try stroking or rubbing in a circular, back-and-forth pattern, and don’t be afraid to experiment with pressure. A light touch can be satisfying, and more pressure may feel even better. Using a vibrator that’s designed to be used on the clitoral area, like Biird’s Namii, can give you more precise control and make it easier to find the right spot.
Stimulating the clitoral area can be combined with vaginal stimulation to create a blended orgasm. This is one of the most common ways to get a hands-free orgasm from penetration, and it can be very intense. The trick is to get the genitals lubricated and accustomed to being touched before you start stroking and playing with it.
Open Communication
There are many things that can interfere with a woman’s ability to orgasm from penetration, including performance anxiety and pressure. It can be helpful to discuss these feelings with your partner, as well as to work on techniques to alleviate them. This may include identifying what makes you feel uncomfortable, practicing relaxation exercises, or even seeking professional help.
Foreplay is also important for stimulating arousal and sensation before the point of penetration. Kissing, nipple play, and dirty talk can all be effective ways to get your body ready for orgasm. Incorporating a vibrator or other sensory toys that you find pleasure from can help as well, especially if they are used in the clitoral hood. It is important to be aware that the erogenous zone can be different for everyone, so it’s a good idea to experiment with various clitoral stimulators and positions to see what feels best for you.
It is also important to remember that pleasure, not orgasm, is the most important aspect of sexual arousal. If you aren’t finding pleasure from penetration, it may be time to try a new position, play with different toys, or focus on oral sex instead. It can also be helpful to reframe the way you judge your sex, and shift your focus to other metrics such as having fun, feeling confident, or seeing your partner enjoying themselves.
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