How to Give a Girl an Orgasm

Achieving a female orgasm takes more than lube and foreplay. It may also require that you consult a sex therapist to address underlying issues.

Orgasms are the peak point of sexual arousal. They involve intense pleasure, muscular contractions and a release of feel-good hormones. Here are some tips on how to get a girl to orgasm:.

The clitoris

Often a bit obscure and mysterious, the clitoris is a small (on the outside), sensitive part of the female genitalia that’s packed with nerve endings. In fact, it’s “the only organ in the body of any gender that exists for pleasure,” says Vanessa Marin, MFT, a licensed sex therapist in private practice. That makes it important for sexual pleasure, and 37% of women say that they can’t reach an orgasm unless their clitoral area is stimulated.

The external clitoral tip is about the size of a pea, and is covered by a flap of skin called the clitoral hood that retracts during arousal. But the full clitoral organ, which looks like a wishbone, is more than that: The external glans, where you can see it, is attached to the hood and extends into two internal legs that stretch up to five inches down around your labia and vaginal opening.

Stimulating your clitoral area can be easy with some practice. Try gently rubbing the area up and down, in circles, or with gentle pressure. You can also use your fingers, other body parts (like tongues if you’re with a partner), toys, or vibration. If you want to ratchet things up, try a tap on the hood or directly on the glans. But remember, direct clitoral stimulation can feel uncomfortable if you’re not turned on, so start with indirect contact and get your body aroused first.

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The vagina

The vagina is the female genital tract, a fibromuscular tube that has two primary functions: sexual intercourse and childbirth. It stretches from the cervix of the uterus to the external genitalia, primarily the vulva. The average vagina is 6 to 7 inches long but varies from person to person. Its shape is not round but rather more like a squatted tunnel with an anterior wall and a posterior “dome.”

The front of the vagina, which is called the G-spot, responds to different stimulation than the rest of the inner vaginal walls. Stimulating this area can give a girl an orgasm. Try sliding your fingers or a sex toy in and out, applying different levels of pressure, and see what feels best. You may want to experiment with width, too. Some women find pleasure by stimulating areas farther to the left or right of their G-spot or even higher up or lower down in the vagina.

The clitoris, which is the tip of the vulva, is often stimulated to create an orgasm. Everyone’s clitoris is different in size, from the tip of a pea to the size of a thumb. The clitoral hood is the protective covering over the tip of the clitoris. It’s important to not irritate the clitoris too much because it can be sensitive and painful.

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The vulva

The vulva is the external part of a woman’s genitalia, including the outer and inner “lips,” clitoris, vulvar vestibule, and opening to the vaginal canal or urethra. It’s also known as the twat, pussy or slit. Everyone’s vulva is different, but it includes the same basic parts. To have a better look at yours, lean backward and push your legs out to the side and touch the sides of your vagina. Then, gently separate your inner lips to see what’s there.

There are 2 outer and 2 inner labia in each vulva, which are hairless and contain multiple sebaceous glands. The outer labia form the lateral edges of the vulva clefts, which meet to form the clitoral hood and frenulum of the clitoris. The clitoral hood contains thousands of nerve endings and becomes erect during sexual stimulation.

The inner labia form the vulva vestibule, which surrounds the opening to the vulva canal or urethra. It also houses the Bartholin’s glands, which secrete lubricating fluid from small ducts during sexual arousal. The vulvar vestibule harbors the urethral meatus, which runs from the mons pubis to the clitoris. It is bounded by the labia majora and the clitoral hood. The urethral meatus and clitoral hood are lined with a thick layer of smooth, reddish-brown tissue called the corpora cavernosa.

The penis

Although most people only think of the penis for its strictly biological purposes (it carries semen from the testicles), it also has some sexual pleasure value. The glans area has lots of nerve endings—double the number found in the head of the penis—and it is often arousing to touch. It is important to lubricate this area before touching it to prevent irritation. Try to find out what kind of stimulation turns her on and how hard she likes to be touched.

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Some women achieve orgasms through clitoral stimulation alone, rather than penetration. For these girls, the best way to get her orgasm-ready is to do what is most pleasurable for her. Some ideas to try are stroking her G-spot, using massage tools to stimulate the vulva, and trying positions such as cowgirl or doggy style. It is also helpful to have a good conversation about what kind of sexual experience she wants to have and what kinds of sensations turn her on.

It is also important to remember that orgasms are not the end goal of sex. Many women and some men never orgasm, and that is perfectly fine. Pleasure is about the journey and is a personal thing that is different for everyone. It is important to be patient and kind to yourself if you don’t orgasm, and keep trying new things.

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