Crying after a great orgasm is not just normal, it’s a healthy reaction. It’s also a way to release pent-up sexual energy.
Women and men both cry after sex. And it’s just as common in couples as in single people.
This feeling is called Postcoital Dysphoria (PCD). It’s more common than you might think.
Physical Release
Picture this: You and your partner are deep in the moment, getting down in a passionate sesh. Your hearts are racing, your bodies tense with anticipation and excitement, and then, a powerhouse orgasm hits. It’s a climax, and you can’t help but burst into tears. This experience, known as a “crygasm” or a crymax, is more common than you think.
During orgasm, your brain releases chemicals that boost blood flow to the genitals and amplifies pleasure sensations while simultaneously relieving physical tension with fierce muscle contractions. In addition, the release of oxytocin and prolactin — both hormones that induce feelings of love and connection — also contribute to orgasm. These euphoric chemical changes create a complex emotional storm that can lead to crying after orgasm.
If you feel happy tears after orgasm, it’s an indication that your sex is satisfying and fulfilling. Tears might also signal that you’re deeply connected with your partner or feel a strong sense of accomplishment after the orgasm. In fact, some people even cry when they’re role-playing or fantasizing about sex because of the high level of emotion they experience.
But if you’re feeling sad after orgasm, it may be an indication of a deeper problem. Crying after orgasm can be tied to a condition called postcoital dysphoria (PCD), which involves inexplicable feelings of sadness, distress, and/or anger after sexual activity.
Mixed Feelings
When a person feels mixed feelings, they are feeling two contradictory emotions at the same time. For example, when a loved one dies, people often experience sadness and guilt. Likewise, students graduating from college tend to feel both happiness and sadness. Similarly, if you cry after orgasm, it can be a sign of mixed emotions.
Sex, intimacy and orgasms release a lot of feel-good hormones in the body, including oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins. These hormones can make you feel happy, but they can also make you feel sad or disappointed if your sexual experience didn’t go exactly how you wanted it to.
If you feel mixed emotions after orgasm, it is important to communicate them with your partner. It might help them understand what you are feeling, and it will allow you to explore any unresolved issues in your relationship.
To elicit mixed emotional experiences, participants read a story that either triggered a sense of sorrow followed by a sense of love (sequentially mixed emotion; Sequential ME), a sense of love and sadness simultaneously (simultaneously ME) or a mix of both sentimental and nostalgic feelings (mixed ME). When they reported their feelings, they were asked to rate the intensity of their emotions on a scale from 0 to 100. Then, they were asked to select which emotion was more intense.
Disappointment
It’s a moment most of us don’t expect: We’re having sex and we hit the desired orgasm, but then, right afterward, a strange feeling of sadness erupts from deep within. This sensation is akin to the aftermath of a break-up, and it’s commonly called postcoital dysphoria (PCD).
It happens when you are emotionally invested in an activity. Sexual intimacy involves a lot of vulnerability and submission, and these feelings can have a profound impact on your self-esteem. For some women, especially those with a fragile sense of self-worth, PCD can stir up latent emotions like guilt and shame, making you feel down after you’ve had sex.
During an orgasm, several parts of the brain “light up,” including the sensory input regions in your genitalia and the areas responsible for secreting oxytocin and dopamine, which amplify the emotional responses that accompany the physical experience. These chemical responses cause you to ride an emotional roller coaster, bouncing from anticipation to fear and euphoria before crashing back down to earth.
If you’re feeling this kind of disapointment after an orgasm, it’s likely that you’ve been role playing or engaging in a different kind of sexual fantasy during your sexual interactions. If this is the case for you, try to tone it down a little and see if that helps. If not, consider counseling to help you navigate this complex experience. BetterHelp offers convenient and affordable online therapy that starts at $60 per week.
Confusion
You’re in the middle of a passionate sesh with your partner and you’re close to orgasming. But just as you’re on the brink of climax, you burst into tears. This is called having a crygasm or a “crymax” and it’s actually a fairly common experience.
Crygasms are a form of emotional crying that can occur for a number of reasons. They can be happy tears, tears of relief or even a bit of melancholy. The feelings that accompany the tears don’t always make sense and they can be experienced by people of all genders, sexual orientations and ages. The tears can also happen without an orgasm occurring.
For some people, a cry after sex can be triggered by a lack of arousal or disappointment that the session didn’t result in what they wanted. For others, a cry after sex can also occur for more complex reasons. If the sex triggers memories of sexual trauma from childhood, for example, that may lead to tears after sex. The key is to dig into the underlying reason and understand that it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Ultimately, it can actually make you more emotionally strong and sexually satisfied in the long run.
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