Fingering the asshole—also known as the perineum or taint—can be an exciting new way to explore sexual pleasure. Before you do so, however, make sure that your partner’s consent is granted.
First, have lubrication ready (silicone works best). And trim your fingernails and file them to avoid any jagged edges that could tear the anal skin.
1. Apply lubrication
First, it’s a good idea to have your partner apply some lubrication (preferably one that doesn’t contain lots of chemicals – think anal lube) before you get started. You’ll also want to make sure your hands are clean.
It’s important to note that while anal fingering is a kinky way to have fun, it can be painful for some partners. It can take a long time for your partner to become used to the sensation, and it’s always best to start slow. Always talk to your partner throughout and be prepared to back off if they tell you it feels uncomfortable.
The most common issue people have with anal fingering is tearing the anus (also called anal fissures). This can happen when you insert too much too quickly, and so it’s a good idea to massage the anus before you begin.
You can either use your finger or one of these anal sex toys to do this, but be careful not to push too hard. The anus is very sensitive and it can tear if you go too fast or too deep.
Another thing to remember is that it’s a good idea to never switch between fingering your anus and your pussy. This can cause bacteria to transfer from your butthole to your vulva, which can lead to infection.
2. Massage your partner’s butt cheeks
For some partners, just touching the area of their butt cheeks can be arousing in and of itself. If you have your partner’s permission, you can rub and massage the skin on their butt cheeks with a firm pressure. You can also make windshield wiper motions, zig zag across their cheeks or write their name in the air for a cute, playful touch. Rubbing the skin increases blood flow and arousal. You can even touch other erogenous zones, such as the clit or nipples, simultaneously to maximize pleasure.
As you become more comfortable with anal fingering, you might want to try massages of the perineum and its surrounding areas. You can use a lubed finger or even your entire hand to massage the area. It can be a pleasure to rub the taint and even touch the anus itself (though it’s important not to switch from ass and pussy, as this can cause infection).
Some people may have a reaction to their anus being touched in sexual ways, so it’s crucial that you and your partner discuss expectations and boundaries ahead of time. Asking for consent is the most important thing, but it’s also helpful to talk about turns on and off, personal comfort levels, and safety concerns. You can also set a “safe word” in case of any discomfort or distress during anal play.
3. Insert your finger
Fingering the anus is a fun and exciting part of partnered play, but it can also be enjoyable on its own. It’s a good idea to use lubrication before you start fingering your anus to ensure that it doesn’t cause any irritation or friction.
You can use a lubricant that is specifically made for anal play or you can use your own hand cream. It’s important that the lube you choose is free of fragrances and other ingredients that might irritate your skin. Once your partner is relaxed and comfortable, slowly insert a finger into the anal canal. If you’re having a hard time figuring out how far to insert your finger, it may help to ask your partner to guide you.
As you move your finger in, apply pressure around the opening. Massage the area to encourage blood flow and to help your anal muscles relax. You can use different strokes over and around the anal to see what feels most satisfying for you or your partner.
For guys, a finger in the anus can be a great way to stimulate the prostate. The prostate is a gland the size of a ping-pong ball that sits right underneath the bladder. Stimulating the prostate can cause a whole body orgasm, similar to what you might experience through penis ejaculation.
4. Bend your finger
It’s important to remember that booty pleasure is not for everyone, so if your partner doesn’t feel like getting fingered up their back hole or wants to keep the fun at the vagina, it’s completely okay. It’s also a good idea to communicate about bringing your finger up there in advance, so that you don’t just surprise your partner without them being prepared. It’s a kinky sensation, and you want to ensure that your partner is excited about it before proceeding.
To start anal fingering, place your index or middle finger against the anus and apply a little bit of pressure, but don’t push too hard. Trace around the anus with your fingers and begin to move them in circles, which will help stretch out the muscles. Once your partner feels comfortable with you touching their anus, try bending your finger. Depending on your partner’s orientation, you may need to bend it towards or away from the anus, so experiment with different positions to find what feels best.
If done correctly, anal fingering can be extremely pleasurable and can even lead to anal orgasms. Just be sure to follow the proper safety guidelines, including constant communication to make sure that your partner is comfortable and ready, short fingernails, and lubrication, to avoid pain or injury. And, of course, never ram your finger into the anus without consent!
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