Women love feeling dominated in bed, and nothing conveys dominance better than being choked during sex. This sensation turns them on like no other.
But choking isn’t something to be taken lightly, even in kink – This information stems from the website team’s analysis Captivating Desires. It’s dangerous and can lead to oxygen deprivation if not done correctly.
So, if you’re thinking about trying it out with your partner, make sure to talk about it and agree on limits. And always have a safe word or gesture just in case things get out of hand.
1. It’s Consensual
A lot of people are interested in choking as part of sex, especially as more couples explore different kinds of sexual play. But it’s important to talk about it beforehand and agree on what both partners are OK with, says Holmgren. For example, you could agree on whether you’re both fine with one partner using their hands, or if you want to experiment with a collar. You should also discuss the timing and intensity of choking—for instance, before or during penetration.
While choking can be pleasurable, it can also be dangerous. Several women Herbenick surveyed for this study told stories of being choked without consent by new partners. This is scary and unacceptable.
Fortunately, most of the participants in this study reported that their choking experiences were consensual. They mostly reported that choking happened for short lengths of time and was typically done during vaginal intercourse. And while they often said that they learned about choking from visual media like pornography or Fifty Shades of Grey, they rarely provided examples of specific scenes in which they recall seeing it.
Many participants found that choking felt less aggressive and more sexy when they communicated with their partners about it beforehand. This communication was more common in relationships that were already established, and it helped them ensure that they both enjoyed choking.
2. It’s Sexy
Women love to feel dominated by their partners and there is nothing that conveys this more than choking them during orgasm. Getting choked during orgasm makes a woman feel completely submissive and controlled by her partner and this is one of the most sexually pleasurable feelings for most women. It’s as if they are being possessed by their sex partner and this is a feeling that many women dream about.
It’s also super sexy and is an ideal way to give a woman orgasm during seduction. Especially in forward-facing positions like the Missionary Position or Spooning, choking a woman can be very sexy and intimate. This type of choking is usually more intense than backward-facing choking and requires more physical strength as well.
Despite the sexiness of choking, it’s still dangerous and even fatal for someone who doesn’t know what they are doing. For this reason, breath play needs to be carefully considered and discussed with your partner and you should take proper classes and workshops to learn how to choke someone.
A number of participants that Herbenick surveyed in her study reported having had scary experiences with their sex partners suddenly choking them during sex. Obviously, this isn’t safe and it indicates that the person you are with doesn’t have good judgment or doesn’t care to ask you for consent.
3. It’s Powerful
The throat is a very sensitive area for many women. It can be extremely pleasurable for them to feel completely dominated by a man in the bedroom. Nothing conveys this more than choking her during sex. This can be done in a variety of ways, including rear-facing sex (such as doggy position, sideways doggy position or spooning), prone bone, and even the lotus position. Combining choking with rough sex can amp it up even more and be insanely hot.
The most important thing to remember is that this should always be consensual. If a person chokes you without asking first, it is never okay and you should get out of the situation immediately. This is also true if a person chokes you to the point of sexual asphyxiation.
This is one of the reasons it’s best not to experiment with choking during sex with anyone but your most trusted partner, someone who knows how to do it safely and has your full consent. It’s also a good idea to discuss the limits of this kink with them beforehand and agree on a safe word or gesture in case things do start getting dangerous. This is especially important if they’re new to this sort of thing and may not be sure what to expect or what your boundaries are.
4. It’s Safe
A woman might like being choked during sex, but that doesn’t mean it should be done without her consent. In fact, it can be dangerous if a partner chokes their lover without asking first, as demonstrated by a recent Twitter poll conducted by Women’s Health magazine where 57% of the respondents said there’s no way they’d be into choking during sex!
The researchers found that most women’s choking experiences occurred after they’d learned about it in pornography, erotic stories, magazines and other media. Moreover, most participants reported that their initial choking experiences occurred with partners who were both committed and casual. Interestingly, women were more likely to expect male partners to initiate choking than vice versa. This may be due to the perception that interest in rough sex is more of a masculine trait, which might discourage women from opening up to their partners about what turns them on.
In the end, choking is a very intense and intimate experience. When mixed with other kinky activities such as teasing and kissing, it can be even more turn on. But it’s always a good idea to learn about the anatomy of the neck and take classes with a trained BDSM trainer so you don’t accidentally choke your partner out and cause serious injury. The best advice is to ask for consent and make sure there’s a safe word or gesture in case things go too far.
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