Whether you’re the giver or the receiver, anal sex should not hurt when done correctly. If it is painful, it’s likely because of one of the following reasons: – Not enough foreplay or lubrication – Or, you are going too fast or pushing past pain.
The key is to start slow with either fingers or small sex toys and gradually work your way up. Relaxing your anal muscles also helps and can make the experience more pleasurable for both of you.
Use lube
The anal canal doesn’t self-lubricate, like the vagina, so lube is absolutely necessary to make anal penetration comfortable and pleasurable. “Applying lube to the inner anal area helps ease insertion and allows you to focus on sensation,” says Ferencz. “Using a lubricant applicator, such as an empty syringe, can also help get more lube deep into the anal canal.”
If you’re trying anal for the first time, or working with a new partner, it’s a good idea to start slow. “Working slowly with anal play allows you to build up pressure and sensations,” says Ferencz. “And it allows you and your partner to communicate about what feels good or uncomfortable.”
Use water-based lube for anal, or silicone-based lubricants specifically designed for anal sex, which tend to be thicker. Avoid household oils such as coconut or olive oil, which can cause irritation and may interfere with condoms (oil and latex don’t mix!). You can even buy anal sex lube that’s flavoured, warming, tingling, or numbing. A little research can help you figure out what’s best for you and your partner.
Avoid numbing creams
While numbing creams might seem like an obvious solution to make anal not hurt, it’s important to avoid them. By numbing the anus, you risk causing internal damage. This can be painful for both partners and cause problems for weeks if not months afterwards.
It’s also a good idea to only do anal with a partner that you trust. You don’t want to end up giving or getting an STI. This is even more reason to always use condoms when having anal sex, no matter how experienced you or your partner are.
You should also remember to use lube, and lots of it. The anus doesn’t self lubricate, so it’s important to use the right kind of lube. Try a high-quality silicone-based lube that is specifically designed for anal sex. This will make the anal smooth and slippery, making it easier for objects to be inserted. You should also talk to your partner about how it feels and let them know if it is too painful. They may be able to adjust the speed, angle, or depth of insertion to make it more comfortable for you.
Use the right toys
Using the right toys can make anal play feel incredibly pleasurable. When choosing anal toys, it’s important to consider a variety of textures and sensations. The toy should also be made of body-safe materials and fit comfortably inside the anal canal. It’s a good idea to start with smaller anal sex toys and work your way up to larger ones.
When playing with anal toys, always use plenty of lube. Water-based lube is a safe bet for most people, but silicone-based lubes are best for anal play. Lubes that target anal sex are often designed to be extra slippery and longer-lasting, and many are compatible with latex condoms. Oil-based lubes should never be used with silicone anal toys, however, as they can degrade the material.
When experimenting with anal sex, it’s important to communicate with your partner and take things slowly. Checking in about arousal, pressure, and sensations can help reduce anxiety and increase pleasure. It’s also important to talk about boundaries and protection against STIs, including barrier methods like condoms and dental dams.
Don’t rush it
Trying to force anal treatment when it isn’t ready can result in pain and damage. It’s like attempting to touch your toes when you haven’t practiced stretching. The anus is sensitive, and rushing it can cause serious pain and even lead to injuries like hernias. Fortunately, there are ways to avoid this. Many people have enjoyed anal sex for years without causing any damage by listening to their bodies and never going further than what feels good.
It is important to take anal treatment slowly and to start with smaller objects. Using fingers or dilators that are designed for anal use is a good way to get acquainted with the sensations and ease into them. Taking your time will help you relax, which can reduce pain and increase the pleasure of the anal treatment.
It is also important to remember to use a condom during anal treatment, as unprotected anal sex can cause serious infections including gonorrhea, herpes, HIV, and chlamydia. Using a condom will prevent this from happening and can make anal sex feel much more comfortable.
Don’t go back and forth
If you’re doing anal with someone you haven’t done this with before, it’s important to communicate and take it slow. Checking in throughout anal play and communicating about likes/dislikes, pressure, and sensations will help both of you feel safer and better.
It’s also important to use condoms during anal sex, just like any other kind of sex. This will decrease your risk of sexually transmitted infections, such as gonorrhea, herpes, HPV, chlamydia, and syphilis.
Even if you and your partner don’t have any of these infections, you can still pass each other bacteria and viruses that can cause sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV and hepatitis. You should also make sure to clean your anal toys and fingers before you use them on each other. Anal sex is a fun way to spice up your sex life and can be incredibly pleasurable, but only if you do it safely. With a little preparation and communication, anal sex can be a safe, intimate, and exciting experience for everyone!
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